the keyboard at our lan cafe had one good key

The LAN cafe near my school had Counter-Strike 1.6, plastic chairs and keyboards polished smooth by a million sweaty hands. Spacebar worked perfectly. Half the other keys were a negotiation. We bought the cheapest time block and spent the first part yelling across the room because setting up voice chat sounded like work. One computer had a mouse that double-clicked by itself. It became the cursed station. If you arrived last, that was your machine and everyone laughed before the match even loaded. Better hardware now, obviously. But a Discord call will never reproduce hearing your friend rage from three rows away while the owner tells all of you to shut up.